


Emptiness

by stegirlxx



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Light is dead, Pain, Sad Ending, Suffering, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28205316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stegirlxx/pseuds/stegirlxx
Summary: - I don't want you to kill L.- How is it Light Yagami?!Rem faced Light incredulously, following his nervous footsteps through the tiny room of one of the dormitories of the investigative base. The eyes of the murderer named Kira shone in the darkness and with every lightning in the sky reflected the seriousness and truth of the words spoken by the young man to shinigami.- You heard me, Rem. The plans have changed. I don't want you to kill L anymore!If Light was feeling remorse and gave up killing L. Alternative ending to episode 25, Silence.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Emptiness

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue, so I am sorry for any mistakes in grammar.  
> Hope you like it. :)

It was still day, but the darkness of sky fooled naïve eyes. The fog and passing rain covered the entire length of the bluish horizon. Everything was gray and only gray. The violent breeze hit the trees of the parks and the great buildings of Tokyo. No one dared to take to the streets and the few individuals who were at the mercy of the misfortune of being caught in the storm ran across the empty asphalt toward their own homes. The sun had remained hidden and showed no signs of returning so soon.

The clock hit six o'clock in the afternoon and the simple dripping of rain had turned into heavy blows, in a noisy shootout of hail. From small houses to large buildings, none of them could ignore the endless noise made by raging nature. Medium and large hail stones filled the streets and gutters of humble houses. Soon, the ice stones would join the half-acid rain water, flooding the city and preventing traffic.

The population trapped at home watched the news horrified. Frightened children cried to their mothers and others slept waiting for the storm to go away. Distressed parents desperately cried out to God to protect them from the dangers of rain, and others laughed at the opportunity for rest offered by the deities.

However, even with this chaos, Japan's investigative team could not stop. With so many deaths made by the mysterious killer, known as Kira, all pressure falls on the shoulders of the seven men responsible for the investigation. The minds of the team were exhausted from so much endless work. Everyone wanted more than anything to solve the mystery of the case and catch Kira at once, for then peace would be established again. Everyone knew that without L and Light they couldn't catch Kira.

____________________________________________________________//_________________________________________________________

\- I don't want you to kill L.

\- How is it Light Yagami?!

Rem faced Light incredulously, following his nervous footsteps through the tiny room of one of the dormitories of the investigative base. The eyes of the murderer named Kira shone in the darkness and with every lightning in the sky reflected the seriousness and truth of the words spoken by the young man to shinigami.

\- You heard me, Rem. The plans have changed. I don't want you to kill L anymore!

The shinigami could not understand what had changed Light's mind so abruptly about getting rid of her biggest obstacle. Your greatest opponent and threat.

\- But isn't that what you wanted? Use me to kill L? Didn't you want to take advantage of the love I have for Misa to save her from L, killing him and ending my life in the process? Admit Light Yagami, you wanted to eliminate both of us from your map. You know I'd do anything for Misa. So, knowing that L plans to execute her if you confirm that she is the second Kira, I will sacrifice my life, for I love her. But you, Light Yagami, don't know what it's like to love, so you can never understand the magnitude of this feeling.

Rem hoped light would be angered by her such daring to confront him, however what he sketched on his face was nothing the goddess of death expected: remorse.

\- You know, Rem... - The young man started. - I know what I did and I know what will happen if my plan proceeds as expected. I put you in a situation without return, between dying and living to save Misa and ending up with L. I know what I said... – Light lowered his head and with a deep exhale confessed. - But... I don't want to do this anymore.

\- What are you talking about? - Rem said incredulously.

\- That's it, I'm going to get I want all this to stop, that's enough! I can't take it anymore! - Light's supplicant and panting voice frightened the shinigami who could not believe that what Kira was saying was true.

\- It can't be! I can't believe it! How can you at this point in the game think about giving up, having almost come out as victorious? Why is that? That doesn't make any sense!

\- You wouldn't understand... - Light said, as he stared at the tiny window of the room. Large gray clouds covered the vast Tokyo sky announcing that soon a strong storm was coming.

\- Surely, I wouldn't understand, because you, Light Yagami, are disgusting, sick and the most disgusting creature I've ever seen in all my years of life! - The hard look of shinigami on the boy did not seem to affect him at all. - What I want to know is what Misa will look like. She's still under threat. With his will or not I will kill L in case he tries to lay a finger on Misa to hurt her.

\- No, no, no, you're not going to do that! - Said Light with fury and coldness. - Misa is only in danger of life because of me. If I disappear and make Misa stop, Kira won't exist and soon she won't be life-threatening anymore. - Light stopped his dialogue with Rem to catch his breath. - I need you to go to Misa now and ask her to relinquish possession of the notebook as an order of mine. Then ask Ryuk to pass possession of the Death Note to you, so you can keep the notebook and not let anyone else touch it. - The young man paused his sentence expecting some question from the shinigami, as nothing came, he went on. - After that, there will only be the death note left of the base. When the time comes, I will transfer his possession to you and when I do you will take the notebook and return to the world of shinigami.

\- And what do I tell Ryuk? He wouldn't want you to stop being Kira.

\- He doesn't need to know. Just tell him it's part of the plan. - Said Light firmly. - I suggest you go to Misa going underground, so that no one will see you. They'd think it was weird if they saw you leaving or coming in with me. - Rem nodded that he understood. Turning to the wall opposite Light, she disappeared through the granite floor.

____________________________________________________________//_________________________________________________________

\- What do you mean, Rem? Light wants me to relinquish possession over the Death Note?

\- Exactly Misa. He wants you to do it now!

\- But... - Said Misa hesitantly. - Just now that we're back to being Kira? That doesn't match my Light. I've known him a long time to know something's wrong. Is he okay, Rem? Say yes. - Emphasized Misa with genuine concern.

\- He looks fine. From what little he told me, everything goes from a plan, like others carried out by him.

\- Interesting, another of Light's brilliant plans, which he's up to this time. - Ryuk said, arriving in the living room of Misa's apartment to pay attention to the conversation.

\- He also asked that soon after Misa's relinquish, you Ryuk must pass on possession of the notebook to me.

\- I get it. Did he send me an apple? - Ryuk said hopefully.

\- No. He's in a hurry and wants everything done the way he's saying!

\- Ahh... Pity. Let's get on with it! He's probably saving my apple for later.

\- Wait, Rem! - Shouted worried Misa. - I don't want to forget you again. - Rem could already see the glow of the newly formed tears in Misa's eyes.

\- I'm not going to leave you, remember that, Misa. Anywhere you are, I'm going to be there watching you. - In an impulse, Misa interrupted the shinigami, hugging the goddess very strongly as if she did not want to let go anymore.

\- Promise me? Promise you won't leave me? - Misa said against Rem's chest.

\- I promise you that. - Rem stressed, whispering in Misa's ear with affection in his voice.

\- Ok... – After a long breath, Misa raised her head to Rem with great courage, moving away from her to look at Ryuk. - I relinquish possession of the Death Note.

Said those words, Misa fainted. Carefully Rem put her in her bed, then back to Ryuk.

\- Now the possession is with you Ryuk! Come on, give me the possession! - Said Rem hastily.

\- Calm Rem, you're in a hurry. Here, you can take the Death Note. - Said Ryuk, extending the notebook to Rem. - I am increasingly anxious to know what Light is planning, do you have any ideas Rem?

\- I just want to see Misa safe and sound from that detective.

Ryuk knew that Rem was hiding something from him, but at the time he didn't bother to find out what it was. - I think you should go back to Light. What else am I supposed to do? Did he ask for anything else?

\- No, that's it for now. Be free to do whatever you want. Goodbye! - Said Rem, disappearing on the floor.

Ryuk spent time thinking and soon decided to look for an apple around the city, seeking to eliminate his boredom.

\- I hope you thought of something cool, Light.

__________________________________________________________//___________________________________________________________

\- Has anyone seen Light guys? Matsuda asked the investigation team. Everyone looked at him curiously, as if to ask the same question.

\- I think he's gone for some air. With the pressure of the investigation in these last few hours, I understand he wants to take a break. - Said Soichiro Yagami, showing sympathy for his son.

\- It's... must be that. - Said Aizawa. - Then he'll be back soon. - Sighing, he passed his hands through the curly brown curls, in a gesture of deep stress. - Ah, I wish if we advance in the investigation? We're at square one. Higuchi is dead and we still don't know who the first and second Kira are!

\- All this is getting us nowhere! - Mogi said as he walked from one alley to the other in the squad. - When we think we are close to the truth, everything turns against us. Kira's making us clowns!

\- Don't worry about it! You guys calm down! - Shouted Soichiro. - We have to continue the search, it's not time to stop yet! We can't give up, because Japan and the world count on us. - With conviction, the chief of police looked at all the members of the room. - And I'm sure we'll catch Kira soon, it's only a matter of time. Isn't that right, Ryuzaki?

The main mind of the investigation had been silent in front of the screens of the base computers, absorbing data and enjoying another of the sugary cakes brought by Watari. Ryuzaki outlined the routine behavior of sitting strangely, picking up anything in front of him with tweezer-shaped fingers, and adding countless sugar cubes to his already cold, sweetened tea. However, it was noticeable that the world's greatest detective was not in the mood for conversation.

\- Ryuzaki, are you okay? - Soichiro asked, realizing that the young man was more distant and sadder. Ryuzaki's downcast look did not go unnoticed by the team.

Suddenly, the detective got up from his chair, in his famous curved position, and headed up the stairs leading to the upper floors.

\- I'm going to go find Light upstairs. Soon I'll be back. - Ryuzaki said disappearing, moments later, from the sight of the police.

\- He doesn’t look well. - Matsuda said, cutting the silence between the four men in the room.

\- Really Matsuda, we hadn’t noticed! – Shouted Aizawa with sarcasm. – Probably, he is only upset with the way of the investigation. We don't have anything to incriminate anyone! I understand that he must be stressed and frustrated.

All team nodded, looking at the top of the ladder where Ryuzaki had disappeared.

\- Ryuzaki and Light together are the best! I'm sure they will think in something! - Matsuda said.

\- We hope so. – Agreed Soichiro, expressing concern about the uncertain future of the investigation.

Outside the building a loud thunder resounded and the thunderous sound hit the building hard. The storm showed no signs of a truce.

\- I hope Light isn't out in this rainstorm. - Soichiro said, before back to analyze another paperwork of the case left on his desk.

__________________________________________________________//___________________________________________________________

Against the skin, the raindrops were cold and uncomfortable, but Light didn't care about it. On the roof of the large building, he sat on the parapet, absorbing all the thick rain on himself. The thunder didn't scare him, not even when they fell near the building. From above, he watched the once bustling city, now empty. Everyone had gone home, but he didn't have a home. No more.

The thick clouds in the sky prevented the sun's rays from infiltrating the city. Without the light, darkness took over the streets, alleys, houses, no mercy or compassion. But Light didn't care anymore.

The water fell from the sky like a divine waterfall, flooding the earth with its grace and grandeur. Both the narrow and wide streets absorbed the impact of the water against the asphalt, and the concrete gradually softened. One or other umbrella lost in this confusion of nature was carried away by the wind, running through the tumultuous sky. The rays passed through the tiny droplets of water, distributing powerful volts and power electrons, which briefly illuminated the life of every Japanese, eliminating the terrible darkness.

But as soon as he arrived, the light disappeared and the shadow would again. The heat from the rays was extinguished and only the cold was left. No comfort, no light, no hope, just cold.

And from so cold, from so much darkness, from so many shadows, emptiness has become endurable. Although the cold bothered and feared, living beings learned to fight it. As darkness approached, candles and lights of hope were lit. When the cold threatened, blankets were clothed and the fire produced. When nothing came to a day, everyone would pray and fear dissolved. The light would not need to be eternal, for as long as hope would hold, darkness would stay away. The world would rise and boast forever. They all had a light inside them. No one needed another light.

The saving light will never exist. Light couldn't be light. Light was the darkness. And it was this perception that led him to realize the emptiness within him. This emptiness was dark and cold, devoid of light and heat. This emptiness absorbed every light ray that entered like a black hole with no turning back. Inside, everything was darkness. The brightness was false, for the light did not avenge. All light in light was false. Everything was empty. This emptiness was destructive and selfish, through it there was nothing. Hope was an unknown word for emptiness. There was no light, there was nothing. There was only darkness in the void and the darkness there would endure forever.

Light did not want to believe in the emptiness, yet everything in his life pointed to emptiness, to nothing. The world had no explanation, the truths were superfluous in the face of the magnitude of nothing. The world was empty devoid of meaning. God existing or not, the world is nothingness. All human beings die one day and when they die everyone will go to nothing. There is no heaven and hell, but nothing, the eternal emptiness. Eternally your consciousness will wander through the void and infinitely it will be nothing. Light does not belong to light. Light belongs to nothing and only to him forever.

The truth was inevitable, but it was the only truth he knew. Light only to the void belonged. Nothing else was real, just nothingness.

\- I belong only to emptiness.

There was nothing to fear, what to mourn and suffer, for this was the inexorable truth. There was no stopping her, or how to change her.

\- There's only emptiness to me.

Emptiness was the only certainty in that sea of lies. Empty was the answer. Empty was the solution. Emptiness was hope.

\- There's only emptiness.

Nothing makes sense. The only thing with meaning is emptiness, nothing.

\- Nothing just makes sense.

Light was not light, Light was empty and accompanied by darkness he could never shine again, truly. It was never real.

The young man looked down, the height did not scare him, because the emptiness was there, attracting him like a magnet. The emptiness called him there. Your life just had some meaning there.

\- Only to emptiness do I belong.

Light's attention rested solely on that point, everything else had dissolved into darkness. There was no sound and for a moment Light's heart stopped beating. His breathing stopped. Everything froze. All he could hear from below was a voice calling his name. "This is where you belong." Light was two steps from the void. Two steps away from feeling part of somewhere. There was only one last thing to do.

\- Rem... - One step was left. - I pass on possession of the Death Note to you. – Light felt his consciousness fade and as he fell into the void, for the first time, he felt alive. One last ray was what he saw before darkness fully struck him.

There's only emptiness. Light is the void. Light is nothing. Light is darkness.

___________________________________________________________//__________________________________________________________

Climbing the stairs leading to the roof of the large building, which served as HQ for the Kira case investigation team, Ryuzaki felt a growing agony in his chest. Somehow, something didn't seem right in the course of events of the last few hours. No Kira, no killing, no Light. Ryuzaki knew something very wrong was happening when the same that afternoon stopped listening to the bells. This unexpected event made him doubt whether he had actually made a mistake at the time. It could have been a wedding or a church the true sources of the deafening sound of the bells. No. It was much more complex than it seemed. He was 100% sure. And Light was the main reason at the center of it all. Everything pointed to his suspect, whom he accused of being Kira.

“What's going on with you, Light?", thought Ryuzaki.

As a detective, his investigative libido was insatiable and essential to the resolution of his cases. This feature highlighted him from all the others, awarding him the title of greatest detective in the world. Strangely, however, Ryuzaki was not relieved to hear the muffled noise of rain against the metal structure. The absolute silence that would normally comfort him was the source of his current restlessness. There was no point in denying it. If he wasn't a little proud, he'd admit to himself to be worried.

Ryuzaki no longer felt death lurking under his shadow. Instead, life greeted him unexpectedly through the noisy wind.

\- Light?!

Nobody. Neither Light nor shinigami were around, an intriguing and threatening factor in Ryuzaki's optics. There was a possible conspiracy against the detective, with a high probability of it occurring. Ryuzaki was not afraid or afraid, he would be prepared for anything that came before him. But nothing came in return for their reactions prior to the cloudy and cold day.

\- Light?!

He did not carry an umbrella with him and yet he went through the merciless rain in search of Light. The icy drops of water soaked your clothes in less than ten seconds. He knew another ten minutes and he could face a severe flu or hypothermia, getting sick and compromising the case. However, he continued. He called by the name Light incessantly.

\- Light? Are you there? If so, answer me!

Nothing. No Light. In its place only darkness, shadows, cold, no heat, no light. Ryuzaki hoped to meet you on the roof. Two brilliant minds would think the same, yet that's not what he's seen in the last few days. After Higuchi's capture, he felt that the naïve Light was suddenly replaced by a cold, calculating, potentially psychopathic young man and owner of Kira's title. The proximity of both young men was cut off by Light when he left Ryuzaki's daily and controlled reach.

Light wasn't anywhere in sight. The completely empty roof was being flooded by large puddles of water. Ryuzaki already felt the coolness and moisture of the ground under his bare feet. But the detective didn't care. He had a strong feeling that Light was there or that he was at least there.

An unknown force moved him across the spacious and fulfilled roof, coordinating his movements like a puppet. The edge. He was slowly being drawn to the edge. The vast sky of Tokyo obscured by the fog made him think he was being guided to paradise. A sacred place where good mortal souls would rest in peace for the rest of eternity. However, when Ryuzaki thought about it, he did not believe in the existence of a paradise or the possible existence of hell. He thought nothing would await him. Still, Ryuzaki didn't feel that it was his time.

The closer he got to the edge, the more apprehensive he became. I felt like something bad could happen if I got there. Unfortunately, Ryuzaki had no control over his body.

The bells didn't go off. The splashing of rain on the asphalt was muffled. In that second a total silence was instituted upon the detective. What he saw couldn't have left him in more shock. What he saw took his breath away. Paralyzed, his motor control nonexistent, Ryuzaki could not look away. I couldn't believe it, even if all the evidence pointed to the same cause. He didn't want to believe it, even if there was 100% confirmation about what he was seeing before his eyes.

A naive part of his brain wanted to believe in the possibility that Kira was responsible for it. But the rational part of his brain knew that this was a lie to comfort him from the overwhelming truth. A truth he didn't feel ready to face.

Nothing made sense in that single second. Around him, Ryuzaki felt his world crumble. L Lawliet was petrified, not knowing what to do.

The sight of the white coat hanging from one of the building's outer figs ripped a strangled groan from the detective's locked throat. His hands closed in tight fists of anger and fear. The flutters jaw struggled to hide his agony and his groans from the rest of Japan. However, his body's attempts to hide his true feelings were failing.

Along with rain, salted drops mixed the sweet drops. Hiccups mingled with distant thunder. The muffled noise of rain on the ground dampened the body's impact sound against the concrete. Even without the sun, black and once opaque eyes shone with the depth of emotion, mirroring for the first-time genuine feelings that for so long were repressed. The glow of tears was the only light source there.

Crystal-clear tears rolled quietly down the pale cheeks, coming into solution with the rest of the water on the floor. Everything had entered a state of transit, within an infinite cycle, in slow motion. The fallen hands covered the back-to-back hiccups and soon did everything they could to lock the screams inside the young man's unstable and dilapidated walls. Ryuzaki felt his body give in to pressure, kneeling pointlessly on the ground. The tears kept going, the sharp pain in his chest worsened and his heart was broken.

Raising his head, the vision he had almost caused him to vomit, managing to take more hiccups from his weak body. Downstairs stretched out on the ground, his light lay dead, covered by a scarlet red robe, worthy of his greatness. After so long shining, like a star, he would soon reach his peak and die. But his light would wander through the vastness of space and galaxies long after his death. That light was fading too fast. The darkness took no more time to cover it. The red before bright was now a sick color, washed away by rainwater. The beauty of light had been overshadowed. What lay there was a carcass of what had been light.

Light. There was no more light and no light only the darkness was left. A cold, heatless darkness. Shadows and darkness. No hope. A world without Light, a world without light.

Now, nothing was greeting him. Nothing was darkness, the cold, the darkness, the emptiness. For in the end, only emptiness and nothing awaited everyone.

Nothing just makes sense. The world is just emptiness.

There's only emptiness. Nothing just makes sense.

There's only emptiness.


End file.
